Finland; Beer for thought

My first impression of Finland was a mail addressed to me, with a Popular Joke that goes like this...

There is this strong silent Finn in the bar; all alone, having his drink quietly. In walks a brit; Itching for any conversation. Recognising that the only guy in the bar is a Finn and knowing their trait, the Brit is anxious not to displease the guy. After quietly debating with himself for more than an hour, the Brit finally plucks the courage to address the Finn with a brief "Hi"
To which the Finn looks up annoyed and asks the Brit -"Are you always so talkative?"

Like all immigrants I came here with all my research in place, patting my back for homework well done.  Within the first month my research was failing me; with series of incidents coming at me from angles I least expected. Drunk Finns was one issue that HIT ME THE MOST.

DRINKING in Finland is like EATING junk food in India. Both even have similar reactions when they overdo it.  When I first encountered a drunk situation it felt like I got kicked in my guts or in the wrong place. I was scared, felt like I was pushed to an inexplicable dark corner.  A super drunk man, in a well fitted whitish suit puking in Huopalahti train station, after few barfs, the man in the suit just sat right down and passed out while the world around him scurried past as if the drunk suited up man gaging was on TV. I felt very sad, yet some strange monster in me felt happy for siting an unusual occurrence...  Ho !!!! BUT HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT IT WAS'T UNUSUAL ???  It didn't take that long for me to realise that bit though.

The following friday, my man asked me to accompany him and a friend of his; who was visiting Helsinki from Copenhagen; in a bar that's right below his work-place. Kitty's is a seriously cozy place. Good for a beer to kickstart the party. To get to the beef of the event,  while we were sitting and conversing, I see a man who was looking longingly at the drinks on our table,  (in the condition that he was in, unable to look straight ... I can't really tell what he was gazing at... the most desirable out there were the drinks I presumed), he didn't stop.
I got annoyed with his gaze in our direction which I felt was slipping a little too much (maybe from being super drunk) from the drinks, to something on my face. I got up from my chair to sit beside my man on settee to avoid looking at the man.

MISTAKE1. An empty chair gave the man THE MOVE, surprisingly quick for a drunk... he appeared on the chair, well I must say just half of him was on it... while the rest of him was happily hanging, (I still give him points for getting off the bar stool across the room on to the chair and setting a new record time for drunks in Europe). Being all new and not knowing how to deal drunks in the first place, in this case that drunk finn who otherwise would be super quiet and always avoid eye contact; is there sitting at our table; he was very curios about us and what we were talking about, my man was first being polite, but it got super annoying after a while as the man was repeating every word we were saying or just trying to touch me...  his english wasn't good enough to understand my man's subtle hints to keep off, events started to go downhill. We handled it. BUT it was all VERY UGLY.

Drunk Episode #3 : My man got back home around 1 30am after hanging out with his work buddies, washed up, done with dinner, and while we were preparing for bed, I thought I heard the door... "Who could it be at that part of the night?" (The answer is right...) a DRUNK FINN this time our dear neighbour who had a bottle of vodka from Russia...He chanted for as long as he was in our flat, that he wanted to get to know his neighbours and all Finns are closed and inferior; whereas he wanted to be different... well He was different... he had two cats and he played drums and preferred Vodka to Beer. (Surprise!). After listening to him chant that for over 23 times, I had a curious feeling that he must have learnt that single phrase by heart on some "teach yourself youtube video" on how to get to know your new neighbours...

I had to peel his hand off the bottle after 4 shots, hid it so my boy was not generous with alcohol to a poor drunk Finn. I had my reasons... I don't like cleaning puke. He invited us back into his apartment... what a relief, we just pushed him in to his bedroom and came back with a dazed amused feeling. Proud that I had become pro, with handling drunk circumstances with just 2 incidents experience...

I am sure every expat here has ton of such amusing friday night anecdotes. this is one of them. Here I stand alone atop a huge rock with a sober head and steady footing screaming with my head held high staring into the wild friday night to my dear drunk Finns "Bring it on" While the sunshines on till midnight...