I want you to know
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
if each day,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
When you meet people, the very first thing they ask you is WHAT DO YOU DO ? or WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
I have been thinking about this a LOT since a VERY LONG time... More so lately with my Hindi classes, when I was conceptualising a lesson on the board for my student, I saw that she would like to know what the person did first and where he comes from next, his or her name features much later in her priority of questions.
This made me reflect a lot more on my original thought, certainly Mr. Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis, The French mathematician who coined the term work in 1826 will turn in his grave with my philosophical questions related to the matter... Yet What kind of a dam can stop the flood of these questions ? and My head rings on with the question WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT FOR US TO KNOW WHAT THE PERSON DOES ???
Does it help us identify how we fit into the person's work life ? Does the work a person does give us a glimpse into how he thinks reacts and lives ??? Does the work by any chance imply an unsaid hierarchy in society ??? a miniature kingdom of our social circles ??? Or is the work one does is what he is ??? I do Understand that one's personality reflects in one's work; is it vice versa as well ???
If you are in the ZERO ACTIVITY or NO Work Mode does it place you on the last step of the ladder where it is Marked NOBODY in caps and bold ???
I just enjoy the way people go off balance and desperately feel for ground beneath their feet when my response to their question is "I am not doing anything..." The immediate 2nd question almost all the time is Ohh So You are a House wife... making the question sound more like a statement, to the horror of most I tell them That A is not in India and leave them with their own Question as I remain with Mine.
“I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.” - J D Salinger
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Not a VERY Big secret BUT a secret NEVERTHELESS. I couldn't tell my parents or my in laws that I acted in a film, even though it is a shortfilm on Human rights, more over a non commercial film.
A friend of mine googled my name and this is what she found along with my blogs and FB account. Well, So I decided to let the cat out.
It was such an experience dressed like a tribe maneuver the cows and then go through the Hyderabadi (simulated) traffic... ORDEAL !!!
- I bruised my hand.
- Uttered "Oh My Cow" (Which I was not supposed to... How does a Tribal lady speak English ha ?)
- Wore make-up... to add up to Murali's $%^&* (can't find the right word to use here)
- Addressed my Claustrophobia
Yet; To me it all felt like a taste of cloud.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I have about 18 Draft posts pending to be published between the 3 blogs that I manage. Some of them are such personal crib-scribbles that I typed out because I coudn't tell them to anyone else, where as some are pending because I don't have photographs... and SO ON are the endless excuses I have found to not publish those Draft posts.
I have welcomed NYE lieing down still on the bed, because of the lunar eclipse that occured on 31st night, for about one hour forty minutes while my mom sat herself on a chair beside me telling me the significance of this month "Dhanurmasam" (It is an extremely auspicious month for Brahmans) Which led to other interesting stories from Ramayanam Mahabharatam and Bhagavatam. Keeping us awake till 2 am. Some of these stories are my favorite specially coz of how my mom garnishes them with different elements at different times that she narrates them to me. For the N'th time I enjoyed the way my mom gave more and more details that were censored to me as a child.
This time her stories had an air of philosophical intensity.
01 01 10
I Spent the first day of 2010 with my Mom just cutting veggies for her while she cooked and spoke about her concerns (which are countable on a single hand), ate with her, napped with her went to 2 temples with her, while she told me her childhood temple stories. I suddenly felt the urge to get to know my Mom, and I regreted every occassion I have made excuses to not go out with her or meet her in the last 2 years. MY crazy girl she is.
She told me that she had really simple resolutions for this year.
- BE HAPPY
- Just Take IT all Easy
- Make NO efforts to meet people half way who hurt her over and again inspite of all the efforts she made in the past.
(And these are mine)
- Complete all my scripts
- Adopt mom's resolutions
Sounds complicated even as I write the list down. I know that I'll expose myself over and again to the people who hurt me as I have always did, and will find excuses to Not take things easy... My complicated head just doesn't understand the pleasures of a shavaasana. Why all the drama, I'll just be HAPPY and I know the rest will all take care of itself. If Not I have MOM (:P)
SO here is wishing you all a GREAT New YEAR, You were wished Happiness Love Peace and all the Blah Blah... I would like to wish you NOTHING. As only an empty vessel makes enough noise to attract NEW things to it.