There it was...

A golden deer with green eyes,

I wanted to own it,

From where I stood it was perfection,

Deaf ear to a friend’s warnings

I began to run to capture the beauty…

The Chase was Incredible,

Deer looked like it wanted to be hunted down…

Enthusiasm on top gear

Sling tightened; arrows sharpened

Raised my bow with the arrow aimed…

Not knowing my arrow was a boomerang

I let go…

I have hurt the Deer, the Bowyer and the Fletcher

We all formed a throbbing circle,

Vicious and poisonous like a snake eating its own tail…

Spitting poison on itself; Hungry for more…

I was still standing there…

Poison slowing down my reflexes…

Not wanting to kill the Deer

Wanting to undo the pain

Wasn’t the deer hurt by the arrow?

Then how come my heart is bleeding?

I still see that Golden Deer standing there…

Mesmerizing me with its magic…

All I still see is Perfection…

What kind of a mirage is this?

The thirst feels real,

So does the quenched thirst.

Only; to be thirsty for more… and some more…

Deer’s face glowing

Reflecting the golden lights

Me dumbfound staring

In to the mirage that’s holding up like a mirror

Showing me images of what I can’t have,

What I should not desire

My most favorite moments

Haunting me down…

I thought I aimed the arrow at the deer

But the sharp end was turned to me.

I LOVE TO DANCE !!!

I have restarted my Salsa classes...

I love to dance because it requires a calm mind and an absolute composed body. To move my body in front of many others needs me to quit so many inhibitions I had acquired as each year went by; and to now finally dance means to go back in time when what anyone thought didn't matter, and if they laughed at how I danced I could have laughed at it too...

Dance makes me stretch my body like elastic; and it calms my mind, I like being there. It makes me feel like a bird in flight, with my wings moving rhythmically going in the direction of sunset.

When I Dance I feel like I am dusting cobwebs accumulated in my head... and after that CLEANING, I resurface fresh as though I helped my brain to take a NAP, It feels like I have I have aligned everything in me to move in a particular way, totally in sync and perpendicular to OUTSIDE...

A new confidence in me... a new spring in my step... My new LOVE !!!

I dance and my body and mind become totally in accord with each to be part of everything around causing me to bond and then to strengthen that BOND.
I love to DANCE, as It makes me feel like a sexy peacock luring its potential mate, and it also makes me feel like a wet dog shaking water off its back.

I really ENJOY using the ONLY tool I have... MY BODY; and to teach it a language to express itself.

I learned KUCHIPUDI as a child, for a long time and All I remember of that is how my dance teacher would beat us so hard on our knees with a thick stick, so until very recently I associated learning to dance to fear and pain whereas now its quite the contrary as I have been super happy doing that every week-end, I have a partner who learns his steps really fast and then our pace matches so well, apart from that I am finally having the time to get to know a friend whom I have known (!!!) forever now. I enjoy our INTENSE conversations after the intense dancing. we are a crazy group of 4 with age group ranging from 22 24 27 and 30.

I JUST ENJOY DANCING... I love it...

It makes me identify with Ripples caused by a drop of a pebble in a pond, with my mom's beautifully patterned Sari pallu flying to the tunes of wind, with the bounce of my little nieces hair when let loose wild when she is jumping around, with the smile which dances casting lights in the eyes of a strange mad man when he sees me in the middle of the night, with well fed Lion cub's in the wild playing with their siblings, with possessive elephants at the time of a female elephant in labour, with my heartbeat thats quickened when I know the pleasure I'll receive from my lover... and Finally with myself.

Dance makes me understand myself... I recognise grace and awkwardness of my body; my strengths and my flaws... my demure and my confidence... all the contradictions that exists in me that manifest in my body are churned up and are made to surface by DANCE.

Today...

I woke up NOT at home...

I am back at work, Still very sick, still running nose, bursting chest, swollen sinuses and fading chicken pox.

I pulled out a jeans that I had not worn in a while and when adjusting my pockets I find a 50, 20, three 100 and a 10 rupee notes and few coins.

NO one made any obscene comments on the street and my African chaperon (don't know from which country he comes) who follows me to work was busy, it seems...

An auto guy accepted to go where I wanted with out much haggle and even smiled at me when I got off.

Today I miss you like I missed you everyday, and more, MY real true friend.

Today I realised that you stand behind me my pillar of support, and not me behind you...

It absolutely is your help that allows me to do the things that I am best at.

Until you came into my life nobody saw to my obligations, or encouraged me to pursue my dreams however trivial they looked.

I have to thank you today for helping me through life’s challenges and by offering me your strength and bolstering my spirit.

TODAY I love you differently

I LOVE because I love you.

Common cold... running nose.. bleeding heart And All the ways I find to numb myself !!!

No more Little pieces of paper...

Jim wrote this really brilliant POST called "Little pieces of Paper" And I have been thinking for a while about creating a community where the concept of MONEY doesn't exists...
Everything will be returning of favours... BARTER in a way;

Think of it... a world where what you have is not important.. BUT what you can do is.
Then I know how much more we'll value everyone around us.

All those workers.. who are now cast away as LOW CLASS and CHEAP coz they get in to our drains and clean our SHIT, will be recognised for their true value.

I have had enough of having everything compartmentalised and more so labelled as Upper class, upper middle class, middle class, lower middle class, and low class... Don't you agree that IT IS BECAUSE of those silly papers... How stupid and unintelligent are we to let THIS HAPPEN to us and have some one constantly estimate how much we have and what our buying power is.