Sleep !!!

Its Monday morning and my shift changed from night to second. The first few days of the night shift it was sooo difficult for me to not fall asleep on my key board, And to be nice to people, to smile at the operators when I was imagining poking pencils in their eyes that my assistant leaves well sharpened in my office is a big Rorsharch test.

My assistant, Oh my GOD !!! if you knew the feeling of arriving at a junction hurriedly and the traffic light turning from green to orange... you know she is always in that mode, always rushing, its fun to watch her eat Ice cream. she is good at what she does, I am great full for what she does for me, yet, with her little girlie squeaky voice, and the traffic signal attitude is too much to handle when I am sleep deprived, and she really can bring out the lurking killer in me every night shift. Her unlimited enthusiasm to teach me to write Tamil and for me to correct her French makes me want to unsubscribe.

And to come back to this every night , after laying in the bed waiting to fall into a deep dark hole, a state of REM where no one hurts, remains only a dream, with the back drenched in sweat, Pepsi's bell in her neck ringing as she wanders around the house , door bell ringing, friends buzzing sms to make plans, Pepsi's barking, maid cleaning; All of that seems like TORTURE.

Nothing is in my control.

when you work at a certain level in a company its expected that you write your life off. well I did, in a way... I work close to 15 hours some times.

BUT

To write one's life off is easy BUT to write one's sleep off ???

Bah!!!


You must have already noticed that my mind just didn't wander off but totally left me...
Well all thanks to the shift that changed again, and am going through the same wretchedness taking me over as I didn't sleep enough neither on Saturday nor yesterday... the beautiful lunch and the hot ride up to work and the relief welcome softness of my chair, all this is making me Yawn and stretch making me ignore the usual 30,000,000,000,000,000 pages document I have to translate and to my fuzzy head it feels like a pile that's ever growing like mount Everest,

I have done 3 training sessions, and I had to constantly keep my temper in check, as any tiny thing which I normally won't even notice is triggering me off. My patience is wearing off.

My sleepless brain is looking at life through the magnifying glass blowing up the daemons under my bed. Well the side effects of sleep deprivation, eyes are ready to shut down anytime I allow them to. But the pressure of work where I have to divert my attention to do something else in order to not fall asleep, My body is unsteady.

GOD I just can give up everything for my sleep... I saw in a film how the police tortures the bad guy by not letting him sleep, he is given everything, food, water, bath, clean clothes BUT NO SLEEP...

If I were that interrogated prisoner, I would have given up all else for the sole desire of SLEEPING.

I now understand the look of bliss on the destitute s on the street even when their bodies are exposed to the world but they are enjoying absolute privacy behind their shut lids, cocooned in a world that is very VERY private.

I look at them longingly as I have experienced this desire and I can assure you not hunger or even thirst are comparable to SLEEP.

signing off...
woes of a Diurnal eyeritated creature.