Monday, April 6, 2009

euphony or cacaphony ???

Is there a Time machine that can transport me to when I had my feet flying 3 inches above the ground ???

when the hell did I get down to earth ???

I miss me who could JUST do all the radical stuff without thinking parents, parents in law, uncles aunts or neighbors, didn't care two hoots for anybody... NOW any new thought that I fancy doing I think of ALL the people I know and care for and THINK of what they think... I was wiser when younger I guess 'cause how the hell does what I do effect them in anyway? it JUST serves as a piece of gossip, so I was actually helping to pep up their boring lives. I didn't quite think shaving my head was radical, yet someones OLD STUCK UP TRADITIONAL sentiments are hurt so I can't go visit them until my hair grows back... hmmpphh. I hate this me who is getting sucked up into the same societal norms that I ridiculed all others for.

I JUST want to take off and TRAVEL on to never come back maybe I'll get news about home, hope that everyone I know will be fine and wish for everything to be same. BUT don't want to stay here supervising.

I JUST want to go to never come back until I crave for my mom's lap.

BUT I am worried about what "they" say about staying away for so long from my husband, what "they" say about not still having children... "THEY" are slowly taking over my life to turn it into a life that resembled theirs... to reassure themselves in some sorts.

I JUST have to find courage to float again, and stay afloat.

I JUST want to live a life with a practical heart and a Romantic mind.

No comments: